I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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