Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
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I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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