I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize