i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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