Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
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Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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