But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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