Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize