Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize