Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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