my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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