Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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