she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize