Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize