Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize