I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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