i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize