Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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