he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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