The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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