I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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