chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
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you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
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Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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