I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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