My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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