Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
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I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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