It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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