went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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