I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize