I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
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What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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