I will die if light touches me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize