ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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