she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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