I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
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Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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