my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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