what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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