We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
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i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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