He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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