It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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