Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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