ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize