Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
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No...this little piggys going to the bar
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
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Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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