smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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