And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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