DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize