sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize