Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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