So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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