I swear she didn't look like that last week.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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