i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize