Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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