im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize